What Would I Give Up?

I've been forced to think about something this week. No, nobody held me down while shining a bright light in my eyes and screaming, "Think. You hear me? I said think. Now do it. Do it NOW. THINK!." (Ok, maybe I watch too much NCIS!) Circumstances have forced me to think. A lovely young lady is staying at the house with me this week. Tim is out of town so it's just the two of us. I have never met her before this week. She is with an evangelistic team that is in revival at our church and I volunteered to keep some of the team in my home. I was blessed to have Laura assigned to me. Laura is a beautiful lady from New York with a very sweet disposition. I have really enjoyed getting to know her. She is very young-looking for her age. I thought she was about 30, but she has two children in college, so she's obviously older than 30! She is, in fact, one of the oldest on the evangelistic team.

Laura and I were talking when she first arrived and one of the things we talked about was how she came to be a part of this evangelistic ministry. She explained to me that she was from New York. She had been a designer with a high end label, owned her own townhouse in New York and in Boston. She traveled back and forth with her career. According to her, she made "a very, very good living - according to anyone's standards." She had a husband and two children - a son and a daughter. She was living the American dream. She went to a revival service with a friend where this evangelist was in revival and felt drawn to his ministry. She said she felt God calling her to join them and that three of her friends confirmed this calling. Laura left her home, her children, her career, sold her homes and joined this evangelistic ministry. She has been with them for a few years now. Her husband divorced her. Her son, who is now in college won't talk to her. He says she is in a cult. She will call her son a couple times a week and get his voice mail. She said he won't even answer her calls, but she calls him anyway just to hear his voice on the voice mail message. Her daughter has come around and will talk to her, but still doesn't understand why Mom left. According to Laura, all these things are just the price she has to pay to follow Christ. She told me that she was just following the New Testament example of the disciples forsaking all to follow Christ. But was she following Christ or the evangelist?

Hmmm, I really have problems with this. Would God ask a woman to leave her husband and children to join an evangelistic ministry? I don't know. Maybe. I'm not God. I don't think He would, but I don't know everything. I know I feel VERY strongly about my role as a wife and mother. When I first married, I firmly believed - and still do - that my first ministry is to my husband as a wife and helpmate. And then when the children came along, it was my God-given responsibility to raise those children and to train them in the ways of the Lord. My husband and my children are and always have been my first priority in ministry. Even when pastoring, they (not the church members) were my first ministry. It is one that I don't take lightly...one that I have enjoyed and take pride in. I feel honored that God chose me to be the wife of Tim and to mother John-Paul and Becky. I could not just walk away from them and leave them. I don't understand women who do.

Webster defines the word 'forsake' 1. to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert 2. to give up or renounce (as a habit or way of life); to reject; to refuse. No! No! No! I could not - not EVER - forsake Tim, John-Paul or Becky. The words used to describe 'forsake' sound so harsh, so final. God forbid that I should ever have to forsake my family. So, why did she do it? I'm sure I don't know. Perhaps she felt that she couldn't live for the Lord unless she did. Maybe the pressures of the career and just life in general were too much. Who knows? Would I do it? Could I do it? Exactly what would I give up to follow Christ? As a young girl, I had dreams, aspirations and goals I wanted to reach. There were things I wanted to accomplish, things I wanted to do and had every intention of doing. However, my life didn't go exactly as I had it planned. I'm sure most people can say the same thing. Well, a lot of people anyway...maybe not most. But I don't consider those things a loss. I prefer to consider them more of an exchange. I love Webster! He defines 'exchange' as "giving up something for something else; to give in return for something received." I exchanged my dreams and goals for a very fulfilled life of living for Christ WITH Tim, John-Paul and Becky. Could I have had those things and still been a good wife and mother? Possibly, but who knows? I have exchanged one thing for something much better. I feel like I came out on the better end of this equation! If I never accomplish anything else in this life, I hope I can say at the end that I did my best as a wife and mother.

So, what would I give up? Did I give up careers goals and dreams? I don't know if I actually gave them up. My life just went a different direction. So, what WOULD I give up? Who can answer that? What would you give up?